Coach, activator, referee and ‘Volunteer of the Year’ Wayne Jones is well-known in his native Sussex as someone who redefines the word ‘enthusiast’ when it comes to padel.
He has trodden the full padel journey, from initial curiosity to full-blown addiction. Here, he maps out the seven stages of falling hook line and sinker for this wonderful sport. Which stage are YOU at?
Obsession rating 1-1.5
You’re just starting to play and enjoy padel
But you’re struggling with the concept of letting the ball go past you
Occasionally getting to the net to make a volley but prefer to stay in the middle of the court or at the back
Have found a group of friends to play with and starting to watch the odd padel clip on social media
Starting to think quite a lot about when and where your next game is
Have a slight giddy feeling when on your way to a padel game
Occasionally wake up with a jump at night and realise you were dreaming about playing a smash (and even in your dream, you probably still thumped it straight into the glass)
Obsession rating 1.5–2.0
Playing now most weeks, have bought your own racket and wondering if you spent enough on it
Can keep the ball in play for longer but still make far too many silly mistakes
Will still usually lose the point once the ball has gone past you
Starting to get to the net more often but still feel a bit uncomfortable there
Gets the occasional ball off the back glass and makes a note to tell your family about it when you get home. They feign interest
No more than one or two double faults per set, and occasionally hit a winning serve and feel quite smug
Understand the concept of body stance, hitting the ball in front of you, watching the ball onto your racket but still struggling to put any of it into practice
Have been seen to practise your swing when cooking dinner – sometimes with disastrous results
Annoying family and friends by checking WhatsApp and Playtomic to see if you have been invited to a game
Understand the terms Matchi, Playtomic, Matchpoint and Court22
Staring to drift away from friends who don’t play padel
Rating 2.0-2.5
You are “officially” intermediate (unless you’re on holiday in Spain)
You get a little tingle hearing someone crack open a new tube of padel balls
You get twitchy if you haven’t got at least three padel matches booked in your diary
You are starting to look at ways of disguising the money you spend on padel
You start saying, unironically: “I only want to play with players who are better than me”
Your rallies last multiple shots and you’re making fewer unforced errors
Your lobs land beyond the service line… mostly
You remember to call “yours,” “mine” and “leave”
You are able to impart some spin
You still watch in awe when others get the ball back off two walls
You start to use terms such as bandeja, vibora, chiquita and you think you probably know what they mean
You have a view on who the GOAT of padel is (although we all know it’s Bela)
You talk tactics with your playing partner, your life partner and strangers on the train
You are starting to vary the pace of your shots
You are thinking about entering the club’s box leagues
(It’s generally too late for you by this point. There is no going back)
Obsession rating 2.5–3.0
You can describe the difference between golfer’s and tennis elbow
You are considered a local expert on rotator cuff injuries
Ibuprofen is your best friend
You are mixing playing with practising and starting to call it “training”
You are getting fussy about playing with other intermediates and are looking for upper intermediates or advanced players (unless you are in Spain)
You are looking for the spaces
You are starting to recover low back glass shots and impart some good spin yourself
Typical rallies can last 10+ shots because everyone is able to keep the ball in play
Obsession rating 3.0–3.5
You have worked out a way to justify padel expenditures to your spouse as “essential living costs”
You are starting to lie about playing padel and pretending you’re going to the pub, working or doing DIY
You are wondering if you qualify for early retirement or whether your employer offers “flexible working”
You are getting a bit fed up with Sandy and Tom (but you are still slightly in awe of them)
You have control and spin and are starting to love the wall, rather than avoid it
You have a preferred side
You sort of call yourself “advanced” (unless you are in Spain)
7am and 11pm are absolutely legitimate times to play padel
Obsession rating 3.5–4.5
You are officially advanced (unless you are in Spain!)
You are training/being coached more than once a week
You are thinking about a kick smash and you love a pop out
You can regularly recover a smash and sometimes even pop it out
You have developed a nice drop shot
You are fussy about the balls you use
You start looking for local indoor tournaments
You start looking for padel “business opportunities”
You are never fazed by the back wall and even OK with the double glass
Service return is not a problem and you know whether to step into a serve or step back (Sandy and Tom again!)
Obsession rating 4.5 and above
You know your level and you are a serious player playing tournaments and in contention for your county
You are hopelessly, irredeemably obsessed
There’s no known cure and you’re not looking for one anyway (although your family have Googled it more than once)
